Memories of the ex:
Long dinner conversations of space, of
exploration, the meaning of the universe, whether or not there was a
omnipresent presence engaged in watching the billions of stories
unfolding on the earth. A sleek new Mercury Cougar, with a sun roof and 6
disc changer in it's trunk. Kids or no kids? How difficult it is
growing up admist disappointment. The future and what both of us would
like to see ourselves in 5 years. The lack of sex due to her being
"burnt out" after years of carnal mileage, when in a blunt reality I was
never really that good to appease her appetite and adequately explained
the toys she brought in... Sloppy housekeeping, the reluctance to
settle in a house together, then the abandonment I executed when she was
ready to play house in college town.
And now she's here, and we
haven't been having the FWB sex nor really talked in sometime, but
that's all of a sudden rendered null and void as she's asking about the
stray cat she brought over to my apartment because she loves the cat
more genuinely than she ever did me which I was almost disgusted by when
thinking about it and then thought who cares as long as she's here.
And
then there's my new "friend" sitting there smiling a mile wide
frantically piecing together this new face and where it belongs in my
life. The exchange a brief greeting and then the ex asks where the cat
is currently hibernating. I tell her in the bedroom on the window ledge.
She excuses herself over to the bedroom and the new friend is starting
to question me hard on the ideninty of my visitor and if I'm trying to
play her, which I quickly answer no and then it occurs to me how quickly
and with great shame I would return to my ex if she merely mentioned it
leaving the new girl in the distant memory category.
It's a
tense few moments where all natural sound has entered a vacuum, and I
can only stand there dazed marveling at the impeccably bad timing of my
ex and the fact that the promise of sex with my friend has quickly
shriveled and dried to a crisp under heavy scrutiny.
Needless to say, I don't see my friend for a few days, and question the timing of the ex as deliberate planning on her part.
Flash
forward to a few more nights down the road. Hip deep in empty beer
bottles I find myself watching this low budget indie film called Gummo,
nursing a 9th beer, grumbling to myself that there's nothing to do in
this town and the door knocks. It's my friend Walt who's a full fledged
insomniac of a vampire addicted to cheap Mexican food. Walt's the usual,
bored, and decided to visit since my light was on. Then, the door
knocks again as if this apartment has become some station between towns.
It's Colby who's of course been drinking, more than I have tonight, and
we of course all sit down and launch in blue tirades about exes,
bosses, the Cardinals, and what rap music is good and what music needs
to completely buried. All this talk has me drinking more, because I feel
this new developing power where either Walt or Colby are speaking and
then the sound goes out, I can only see their lips move or quiver and
this only occurs when I take another hit of beer.
Then, the phone
rings. I grab a hold of the cordless and it's my friend. Colby remarks
she was probably locked up I tell him to shut up. She asking what's
going on and how I'm doing and again with the apology of just
disappearing on me because there was a lot of shit that went down in
Arkansas with some of her friends from the factory involving some speed
and weed and the no money so they abandoned me with a dealer named Skip,
but I was able to get my step dad to come down and get me out of trouble
explanation that makes nailing her almost a priority now in my drunken
haze. If I could not close the proverbial deal, I might as well retire
my dick to a museum. I ask her if she wants to drink a little, and she
slurs she's drunk a little playing Texas Hold 'Em with her mother's
friends, but it wasn't much and she wants to come over for something to
drink. I lie to her and tell her I have some Seagrams 7 for her
consumption but she only has 15 minutes to get here. I neglect to tell
her that I have other people over, but I really don't notice them while
on the phone with her nor do I really care, as I apply my new super gift
at will now instead through just drinking.
15 minutes later.....
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