Once a year in the high school, there is a homecoming which all the
classes participate. Not merely just the window decoration that would
illustrate business windows down main street, but there were also float
constructions and there were skits each class had to perform for an
assembly for the entire town. One Tuesday night, three days before the
homecoming game, each class from the freshman up to the senior class
would perform a skit very pro cardinal against their opponent. All fun
and no fuss. There wasn't a lot of thought put into much, except maybe
the floats. I was assigned to go on this skit team with two other
classmates who weren't exactly resonating team spirit much like myself.
We sat one 45 minute period just halfheartedly throwing out ideas, but
spent more time looking at the girls in the class and making comments as
to who was hot.
A week passes and change locations to a church
foyer my father pastored at the time. I and this other guy named Jesse
were there working on an idea of time travel with the crude
transportation device of a cardboard box or something else that had been
liberally stolen from Calvin and Hobbes. We were deciding who was
playing what, and there was this uneasy assurance we had things together
to perform in front of a large crowd later that night. I agreed to meet
Jesse there before the program began to make sure where to put the box,
and to brush up on any lines that seemed a little iffy.
I
arrived to the school gym early, partly for the skit prep, but also
because I was playing trumpet in the marching band and we had to get
there to set up for the small concert we played during the program. I
waited around, fidgeted as the clock started to compress the start time
of the assembly closer and closer, and I realized at the point 5 minutes
or so before the programs start, my associate was going to be a no
show. I had no box, no partner, and no skit. I sat up in the corner of
the bleachers with another trumpet player, a fellow classmate. She
naturally asks where Jesse is, to which I reply I didn't know. I was
talking that I should forfeit the skit, and she replied that would be
awful, as well as costly to the class, for non-participation was a fine
to the class. It was shaping to be a lose/lose situation.
At the
start of the year, I had been goofing around with this percussionist Jay
doing voice impersonations. I had managed to make a credible
impersonation of comedian Dana Carvey impersonating then President
George Bush. Weird I know. I had quickly thought I should use that as
the new skit for the class, because I wasn't about ready to be looked at
for the impending fine by everyone else in class. I really tried to use
this moment as that point where I would be like cool for the class,
most popular and all that other stuff we saddle ourselves with in
adolescence.
I sat over in the corner with the band. We performed
a couple of numbers. The crowd was pretty sizeable, filling most of the
floor and swelled into the bleachers opposite of the band placement.
The skits began shortly after. I was second in line behind the freshman
class. I stood off the side of the stage, behind the curtain pulled
back, racking my brain for any one liners or good jokes to say in this
impersonation. I wanted to make sure I mentioned the ball team as well
as the upcoming game. The name of the sophomore class came out muffled
over the p.a. and the curtains drew back, leaving me there in front of
the spotlight, hundreds shifting and coughing in their seats.
To
this day, I have no clue as to what I said. I know it was funny. Real
funny in some parts. I was loose after the first minute, crowd getting
loud when I mentioned about the game Friday. I was really starting to
ham things up onstage, to point I was so comfortable, the stage manager
had been making a cut sign for I don't know how long. I wound up my
speech and the curtain drew shut on stage. There was an applause I had
never heard of personally. I had seen ovations like this on TV or in the
movies, but this was different. The crowd was loud and appreciative to
the bit, and when I came out to cross over back into the band, the crowd
was on their feet, and the spotlight was centered on me as I walked
ever proud back to the top bleachers. Afterwards, everyone was really
psyched thinking I had planned this all along, and then were surprised
that all of the goofy impersonation had been improved.
Funny
ending. There were awards given out the day of the game at a school
assembly. The science teacher Mr Henson was naming off classes in 3rd to
1st order, and then when he had gotten to the skit competition, he
announced as first the sophomore class, "To his credit", or words to the
effect singling me out personally. That was indeed a rich moment,
sitting there as the savior of a contest for a class who really weren't
all that accepting of me at first. In hindsight, things began to work
out better amongst myself and my classmates after the whole skit
episode.
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