I have no idea why there is this romantic attachment to summer. It has all the appeal of something torturous and unpleasant to me. Between the bugs, the heat, the humidity, the smells of baking garbage in open cans or horrific body odor on people, I just don't get the glamorizing of the season. Maybe I'm just old.
Anymore I think the majority of people I meet and sometimes befriend fall into the lyric written by Oscar winner Trent Reznor
"I'll be there for you/ as long as it works for me/ I play a game/ it's called insincerity"
In this past month I had a relationship take a couple of turns to the point it's not even worth continuing. I've been disappointed a number of times, both professionally and personally. It's gotten to the point where a place like Portland Oregon looks more appealing rather than being a place on a map.
Why can't things ever work out in predictability? It's one thing for you to anticipate the worst because that's all your accustomed to in some fields, but, in matters of the heart, it never gets any easier. I've had the proverbial heart pulled out, kicked, stomped on, etc and yet, with all the experience I've had where relationships die, or get "friend zoned" I've not gotten any stronger from it. It makes me more suspicious and nervous to put myself out there.
I could understand the function of having a high school reunion years ago before the advent of social media. There was one for my graduating class this past weekend which I didn't attend for a number of reasons. 1) I haven't done anything so significant in my life that warranted going to a group of people I shared a class of title with to show my accomplishment. 2) Several people I went to high school are still here in town locally. 3) I wasn't really close to too many of said classmates. I came in as a junior, and from the last school I attended, I had the majority of credits where I could just stuff my class schedules with electives that didn't tax the brain. 4) I have no connection with people my age. There isn't something I can relate to in their field. I haven't suffered divorce, no #Y spouse, no children or custody battles, No bankruptcy. Every trivial adult issue I hear about through life, I have no experience in. I can't even get a lady friend to join me in the reunion for a few hours. That's how sterling my life is. 5) Reunions seem archaic and redundant anymore any way. Everyone is on Facebook, or twitter if they're advanced. We post things and pictures daily, some people multiple times a day. I know more about some people's life by being Facebook friends with them than I know some people in my own family.
I know you shouldn't, but, sometimes I take great joy when a relationship goes south. Especially when it's been broadcast over my timeline. I'm awaiting the inevitable break up.
I can't think anymore. May put some stuff up tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
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