Jeremy,
So, you're single again? Well, it's not like we didn't see this coming the second she showed an interest in you. Your life is comprised of moments where you engage in someone long enough to have them temporary swoon over you and then wake shortly there after and realize who they're with and decide it's best to cut ties and leave.
I know I know, the whole suddenness of it can be jarring and cause emotional tumult on your end, but, have you ever considered things on their end? Really, think about the endless hours you subject them to banal conversations regarding subjects they feign interest in when in reality they're doing something far better and more fun in their minds. No one likes talking about movies, excuse me film, incessantly, nor books, nor anything devoid of substance to the human condition.
You are shallow. You are surface. You meet someone who you like, and that's what their takeaway is going to be of you in the end. You are inconsequential. You have not effected any life you have come in contact with. On the contrary, you are largely forgotten by the majority of people or known as "that fat guy" or "lazy piece of shit" by those who know of you.
I realize that this is all pretty damning of me, but, you need to know this as you get older. You need to know that you're going to be alone in this world. You will die alone in this world. There are no kids for your future.No woman in their right mind wants to spend more than 6 months tops with you. Look at your last relationship. You messed that up being all empathetic, caring, and attempting sympathy and all it got you was an half empty house and the flowers you purchased as a sign of affection sitting on top of the trash. That is the summary of your love life sir. A wilted bouquet of flowers on top of garbage.
Quit deluding yourself in thinking you're going to be happy. You're miserable and it reflects around to everyone you meet. That's why you don't get text messages daily. No one thinks of you often. That's why dates are postponed. No one wants to sit in a theater or a restaurant or any public place with you for any period of time. You're boring, banal, and quite frankly would do the world a service if you just disappeared.
It's called tough love and realism. Don't like it? I don't care. I'm angry you keep holding out hope that there is some woman out there designed specifically for you as your ideal mate. That's a childish notion. She doesn't exist. The best you can do is look for someone who is as equally tired and patient enough for your nonsense. You have to settle at some point, or pray you find someone desperate and not discerning.
Go get yourself a drink, and throw yourself into oncoming traffic,
yourself
I don't like this, Sir.
ReplyDeleteIt's curious that we often think far worse of ourselves than others typically do. I'm pretty sure we all do it to some extent or another.
ReplyDeleteAnd just by the by, you can never know the impact you have on other people. Assuming you have no impact is a detriment to everybody.
"Designed" or not, people are never a finished product. What would be a perfect match today may not fit tomorrow.
Life isn't stagnant and you shouldn't be either. Go be you, find out what makes you happy then find more stuff that improves your state of well being. If you view the world as a list of tick boxes you need to check off to be happy, you are doing it wrong. If you are depending on others for your own happiness, you are doing it wrong. Be you and learn to enjoy being you.
Get your happiness level up and don't rely on someone else to somehow fill in all those holes you feel. Learn to be content in the small things. Significant others are awesome and in a lot of ways like a happiness multiplier. However, if you are at a happiness level of 0 or 1, you won't see any improvement no matter what her multiplier is. And no, two negatives don't make a positive in this scenario. :P
You need be happy being you and content with your situation. Only then can you realize the full potential you have when combined with another. Sometimes the numbers just don't work out for you, it happens to the best of us. It's painful and it can leave scars, but it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and improve.
Timing... If god has someone specifically for you, you'll meet them when it's time. In the mean time, stop romanticizing the notion that you aren't good enough. You are always better and worse than someone else at anything. Where you rank on any one skill/attribute/virtue is irrelevant, so long as you are a positive contributing member of society and that you are content in life.